Excuse Me For Laughing

Some co-workers and I went out for breakfast this morning after a night shift. I can imagine that to those sitting around us we probably sounded like a triplet of heartless jerks. Discussing the precarious and delicate state of our patients and laughing. And catching up on "nursing stories" from the daily grind on our unit.

Yes I laugh at my patients. If I didn't laugh and try to see the humour in it all - I would cry. The sad situation of a dementia patient. Someone's mother, someone's sister - losing their mind and no longer able to recognize their family member. But to me they're a pleasantly confused lady who speaks her mind (however socially inappropriate and embarrassing to her family) and I find her funny and frankly - refreshing. But I keep her safe.

Sometimes I even ignore what you say. If I didn't let things slide off my backs - I would become an emotional wreck. The patient in with alcohol withdrawal who was raped and evicted from her home for not paying rent. You are mad at the world and tell me that I am bad at my job. I don't hate you for telling me that - I'm pretty sure you don't really mean it. And I'm still here to listen about how much your life sucks at this point in time and to tell you're still loved (by the way your daughter called looking to talk to you).

So excuse me for laughing, or turning the other cheek, but it's probably the only emotion I have left; all my emotions of sadness and remorse have been depleted.